Why won't you die?
by blueflamefreak
Summary: Songfic:Character Deaths: Her change was obvious to the people around her, yet they still turned a blind eye, and pushed her further down the path of bloodlust and insanity. Onesided SakuSas Vague ItaSaku


I wrote this a while ago after reading some angsty Sakura fics, and decided that there was something missing from them, so I attempted to write one myself. The song's called _System_ by Chester Bennington, and it's from the _Queen of the Damned_ soundtrack. Henceforth, I don't own the song, nor the characters.

I'm also not happy with how it finishes, so if you have any constructive critisism, please feel free to message. [Yang

* * *

_You fell away  
What more can I say_

Sakura sobbed, and screamed out for anyone passing by to hear, although there was nobody, only him, and his too calm face of feigned indifference, just lightly spread over one of slight regret.

"Sasuke! If you leave, I'll scream!" She sobbed, ignoring the fact that she was screaming at him anyway. He stared at her, memorizing her face, the way how her eyes expressed her emotions, the tears dripping down her pale cheeks.

"I love you! If you go, I'll follow, I'll fight for you, please let me stay by your side!" He shut his eyes, making sure her face was imprinted onto his memories. She blinked, feeling him behind her. She relaxed as he hugged her awkwardly from behind.

"Thank you." He whispered, rendering her unconscious. He caught her as she fell, laying her out onto a nearby bench. He stared down at her, then kissed her gently on the lips.

"I'll come back for you." He said, standing up straight. In an instant, he was gone.

_The feelings evolved  
I won't let it out  
_

Two years had passed. Naruto and Sakura had become stronger, with the sole purpose of returning Uchiha Sasuke back to Konoha at any cost. She had tightly reined in her emotions concerning the youngest Uchiha, and meeting him at the fortress in Sound proved to be her biggest test. He, also, was reluctant to hurt her, or even look at her. That day, she was the only one to escape injury.

Naruto had said later, teasingly, that it was because he still liked her, even after two years. Sakura had given a sad smile, and shook her head.

"It doesn't matter. He's a traitor to Konoha, and he's just proved that. We're going to capture him and kill him." She said, looking distant. Naruto's smile slid off his face. He squared his jaw, looking determined.

"Sakura-chan." She looked at him, the sadness coated thinly with an attempted mask of indifference, which she knew was failing.

"Hai?"

"She's going to want to get information out of him first." Sakura knew who he meant by 'she'.

"I know. Morino Ibiki has approached her for a medic he can use in his squad." They both knew about Morino Ibiki and his squad. Naruto didn't have to ask who was chosen, the sad acceptance was visible in her eyes. His sky blue eyes softened, drawing her into a hug. She cried against his shoulder as he stared over her shoulder blankly.

Fifteen minutes later, she drew away, scrubbing frantically at her cheeks. Her emerald orbs had turned dull; a quiet acceptance and an unexpected hardening had formed in her face.

"I can do this, Naruto. Isn't that what a kunoichi is meant to do? Adapt?" He nodded silently, bright blue eyes still apprehensive. She smiled at him.

"Ramen? My treat." She asked, drawing a grin from his face. He nodded enthusiastically, dragging her to his favourite stand.

_I can't replace  
Your screaming face  
Feeling the sickness inside_

Another two years had passed. The Gondaime had sent out another retrieval mission for Uchiha Sasuke, only this time, they were ANBU. Naruto headed the squad, followed by the exact same team that was sent on the first retrieval mission. Sakura was the only one to see them leave, watching behind her white mask and black cloak that hid her vibrant hair.

As they disappeared out of the gates, she turned and made her way silently to her new sensei, waiting for when they would bring back their target.

It took a week for the mission to be declared successful. Sakura watched behind the two way mirror as her sensei did his work, the Hokage standing beside her. A tear slid gracefully down her cheek, unchecked, as he screamed in pain. The blonde turned to glance at the rosette, an unreadable expression settling over her face.

The session ended soon after, a grateful Sakura stumbling out of the building, her face dazed. She unconsciously made her way home, thankful of the emptiness of the house. Her parents had died years ago in a training accident, typical of the ANBU. They were not shinobi.

She stumbled into the bathroom and retched into the toilet bowl, purging her inner anguish alongside her dinner. The next session was tomorrow, and she knew it would be her in the room with him, not her sensei. She retched once more, dull emerald eyes filling with tears.

She would do her job, even if it meant loosing her sanity. She needed to purge herself of her only weakness, and if she could stand up to it the next day, she would have no weaknesses. Her unique clan secret found her in an unfortunate position, as she was the one to go after the deadliest enemies of Konoha, to steal their clan jutsus.

She rinsed out her mouth, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She would break, but she would do her job. The Hokage would not forgive her if she did not.

_Why won't you die  
Your blood in mine  
We'll be fine  
Then your body will be mine_

The next day, she was standing behind the glass again, white mask in place. Her sensei frowned, and stole a glance towards the glass, eyes piercing her own. He knew she was there, and she knew what was required of her.

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves, and stepped inside the chamber, the dark eyes of her sensei and the blank stare of the victim. Her sensei left the room, leaving her alone with her old team mate, the one she used to love. His eyes seemed to recognize her, tracing the outline of her hair.

"Sakura…" He whispered, turning as much as he could towards her. She stood silently, collecting her nerves.

"Tell me what you know about Orochimaru's plans." Her voice was rough. She winced behind her mask, but did not continue, or try to rectify her voice. He seemed taken aback by her tone of voice, and smirked at her, despite the pain growing from his stomach.

"Uchiha, I can heal you, torture you and heal you again. There will be a never ending cycle until you tell me exactly what he plans to do!" Her voice rose, and her breaths became more shallow. Sasuke shook his head.

"You couldn't." He whispered, dark eyes goading her. She shook her head.

"That is where you are mistaken." She hissed, hands flying together in a genjutsu. He screamed, thrashing around as much as he could in his restricted bonds.

The pain was worse than the previous specialist and Orochimaru combined. He knew it was a genjutsu, but it was flawless in its illusion.

She let it go, and he found himself panting and sweating and tears ran down his face.

"Tell me, or I will do that again." She whispered in a deadly voice, fighting back her conscience. _**The bastard had it coming.**_ Inner Sakura snarled, crossing her arms. Sasuke opened his mouth and began to talk.

Tsunade nodded in approval at the torture specialist next to her.

"She really knows how to create her genjutsu." She murmured as the Uchiha spoke in a raspy voice hoarse from screaming. Ibiki nodded thoughtfully.

"She won't teach anyone else the technique, nor will she tell anyone how she discovered it." He replied in the same tone. Tsunade's eyebrows shot up.

"Perhaps I've been working her too hard." She said thoughtfully, eyeing her ex student. Ibiki blinked, his scarred face contorting up in a thoughtful gesture.

"It wouldn't hurt to give her a rest. She's been using her bloodline too much." He offered, watching as his student took off her mask.

"What is she doing?" Tsunade hissed, light brown eyes narrowing in suspicion.

"What she does best on clan members of any kind." Ibiki said calmly, watching the two in the chamber exchange words off the record.

"You told her to steal his clan jutsu." Tsunade smiled, but it was without joy.

Sakura took off her white mask, letting Sasuke see her face for the first time in two years. She had matured from the excitable fourteen year old that he had last seen, into a mature woman at sixteen.

"Sakura…" He whispered, dark eyes meeting her emerald ones.

"Sasuke." She replied, fighting back tears.

"I never expected you to be down here." He rasped, eyes holding something close to… amusement? No, Uchiha Sasuke never joked, least of all with her.

"It's always what you least expect. I'm betting you never expected that I could steal your clan secrets, did you?" She asked detachedly, watching him closely. His eyes quirked in question. She offered him a smile, and bent down close to his ear. He seemed mesmerised by her boldness to get close to him.

"And how would you do that?" He rasped, feeling her heal his throat. He swallowed, fathomless black eyes silently thanking her.

"Like this." She whispered in his ear, then bit down on his jugular, eyes closing in bloodlust. His eyes widened, tensing every muscle in his body, not able to do anything about the girl that lapped his blood at his throat greedily. She tore herself away, healing his throat with one hand, the other, wiping up the blood that had dribbled onto her chin.

She looked down at him, then blinked, eyes sliding to sharingan. She blinked again, looking around.

"It's a bit strange, but I guess I can get Kakashi to teach me." She mused out loud.

"H-How?" He asked in disbelief, straining against his bonds. Mesmerising red eyes stared back at him.

"I have a powerful bloodline, Sasuke. Have you heard of the two clans of power stealers?" She asked conversationally, eyes blinking back to a dull emerald. He nodded, still in disbelief. She leant forwards again, as if to tell him a secret.

"My parents were the last of the two bloodlines, and now they're dead. I've inherited all of their power." She whispered, then stood up straight. She smirked down at him before pressing her white mask back on, and exiting the room.

_So many words  
Can't describe my face _

She left the chambers, a blank expression present on her face. She knew what she had done, what she had been required to do, but it didn't mean that she liked it. On the contrary, she hated her job, hated her sensei, hated her life and most of all, hated her abilities. However, it also fascinated her how she could tear a person apart so efficiently, then heal them just as efficiently. It was this sick fascination that held her to where she was; how she could never let go of what she had become.

She rarely saw Naruto, Sai or Kakashi anymore; they were too busy fighting at the front lines against Sound. She walked into her apartment, eyeing the figure that had been there for hours. Her face showed multiple expressions, each more confusing than the last.

"Kakashi?" She whispered, dull emerald orbs brightening just slightly. The silver-haired man stood, surveying his ex student. He said nothing but stepped forward to embrace her, visible eyes widening in surprise as she stepped back.

_  
This feelings evolved  
So soon to break out_

"No, don't come closer." She whispered, shaking her head, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"Why not?" He asked, dreading the reason that he knew she would repeat. She hunched her shoulders as if she was cold, face becoming blank, then flickered with emotions.

"I'm tainted. I've killed so many down there, broken so many people, even Sasuke." She replied, frantically scrubbing at the tears that seemed to leak out of her eyes.

"I don't want to break you too." She sobbed, collapsing to the floor. Kakashi was at her side in an instant, lean arms wrapped around her.

"I didn't want to do it, but they were there, they made me, I _don't want to go back_." She continued to sob, gently cradled by the man she had come to know as her first sensei, her friend. He continued to soothe her, sharingan whirling underneath his protector.

_  
I can't relate  
To__ a happy state  
Feeling the blood run inside_

_  
_It was two days later when she emerged from her home, pale with deep bags under her eyes. She passed Ino, who had to do a double-take, just to see if it was the person she thought it was. Ino doubled around, catching a hold of Sakura's arm. The rosette turned and stared blankly at her former rival, looking like she was going to hurt her in some way.

"Sakura, what the hell happened to you?" She whispered, blue eyes filled with worry. Sakura shook her head, wrapped her hand around Ino's arm and executed a one-handed ninjutsu, taking them to a deserted hill filled with flowers. Ino looked around in surprise and awe.

"How did you find this place?" She asked, excitement starting to rise.

"I was on a mission, and we got ambushed here by Sound nin. Most of the team died, but we still managed to stop the attack." Sakura replied in a monotone voice. Ino stopped and stared sympathetically at her friend.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know." She replied in a low voice. Sakura shook her head.

"Don't be sorry, it wasn't your fault. It was _his_ fault." She grew angry, sharingan flashing on. Ino gasped and scrambled away, blue eyes filled with worry, confusion and anger.

"How did you get those?" She asked harshly. Sakura stood slowly, and looked at her friend who was avoiding eye contact.

"The same way I got most of my bloodline abilities." She replied softly, eyes sliding back to emerald. Ino blinked, then openly blanched.

"Why can't you be normal again, Sakura? Why can't you quit that… that _job_ and come back and do missions with us again?" She pleaded with the rosette. Sakura barked out a harsh laugh.

"I can't. I can't ever be happy again. I'll die out in the field with people I don't know, for a cause that I don't really find satisfactory. It's a curse, isn't it? The sharingan. Everyone who has it is unhappy, seeking only other's blood. It's what I've become, Ino! I'm an interrogator, a torture specialist!" Sakura's voice grew increasingly until she was yelling. Ino shook her head sadly.

"I'm sorry Sakura. You've changed too much. I can't recognise you anymore." She whispered, eyes filling with tears. She disappeared in a column of smoke.

_  
Why won't you die  
Your blood in mine  
We'll be fine  
When your body will be mine  
_

Sakura screamed, clutching at her head, tears leaking out of her eyes.

_**You killed him.**_ Inner Sakura taunted. _**You broke him, he told you everything he knew, and you still killed him.**_

"Shut up! Shut up!" she screamed, squeezing her eyes shut. Her nails were drawing blood from her scalp, but she wasn't thinking about that, couldn't think about it. Blood horrified her, and it drew her. Anything that bled, she would see it, hear its pain, feed on its blood. _**You would be perfect for the Akatsuki.**_ Inner Sakura mused, tapping a slender finger against her chin.

Sakura opened her eyes, and scrubbed furiously at her face. A kunai whizzed past her face, just millimetres away.

_  
Why is everything so fucking hard for me  
Keep me down to what you think I should be_

_Must you tempt me and provoke the ministry  
Keep on trying I'm not dying so easily  
(I will not die)_

She sprang backwards, only to be faced with two people in black cloaks with red clouds on them. She noted them wryly, hissing at Inner Sakura to pick her timings better. She was rewarded with silence.

"What are you doing in Fire country?" Sakura hissed, emerald orbs narrowed to slits. The taller one laughed, a gurgling sound.

"I like this one. Let's play with her." He said, lifting up his hat. She could instantly see Kisame, knowing who his silent partner was. She crouched into a defensive position as the shark man drew Samehada clear of its wrappings. She blinked, eyes sliding to sharingan. Itachi removed his hat, the same sharingan eyes staring at her.

"Where did you get those?" He asked quietly. Sakura snorted.

"Your brother dearest. Who else has the sharingan?" She replied in contempt. She could feel Sasuke's rage building up inside her at the mere sight of Itachi, but she forced it down. Said Akatsuki raised an eyebrow.

"He was captured, then. Pathetic." Sakura bristled.

"Yes, he was captured, as you are about to be captured." Itachi raised his eyebrow a millimetre further. No more words were said as Kisame rushed forward, Samehada swinging.

The fight with Kisame was brief. His head lay ten meters away from his body, next to his sword. Sakura caught her breath, sharingan eyes taking in his partner's blank expression, but could feel the interest and the annoyance beginning to flow from his body language.

"You have a choice, kunoichi. Come with me or die." He told her, lean fingers slowly reaching for his kunai pouch. She smiled wryly.

"Don't tempt me." She replied before disappearing into the trees. She attacked him from the ground, sending clones to attack him from the air and the trees. He smirked at her childish actions, waiting for her to show herself and attack him.

She did not disappoint, kicking him in the jaw after coming from the ground. He tumbled back, disbelieving the fact that she actually hit him. He smirked. It would be an interesting match.

_  
Why is everything so fucking hard for me  
(I will not die)  
Why is everything so fucking hard for me  
(I will not die)  
_

The match went on for three hours, three long painstakingly long hours of ninjutsu, taijutsu and the occasional genjutsu. They were both panting and sweating and bleeding; both as good as each other.

She winced as a kunai grazed her cheek, but continued to keep her eyes on his neck. She had cut it just enough for it to bleed, and she wanted to taste that blood. She wanted the power that came with that face, that name. She snarled, baring her teeth.

"Kunoichi, you're running out of chakra."

"So are you. My name is Sakura. Please use it." She replied, healing the more serious wounds across her back and abdomen. Itachi smirked at her.

"The Akatsuki are well informed about you, Haruno Sakura." He replied, taking the opportunity to assess the situation. He was loosing too much chakra. He would have to conclude this match another time. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Really now?" She drawled, eyes narrowing to slits. She reverted her eyes back to their natural shade of emerald. He moved quickly, picking up Kisame's head and sword, charring his body.

"Hai. We intend for you to see that Konoha is not what you ever thought it was." She smiled wryly.

"I already know that, Itachi-san. Perhaps tomorrow." He bowed, knowing what she meant. Inwardly, he smirked. He knew he would have her as his partner, and that she would frequently try to kill him. Perhaps he could make her tell him how she stole the sharingan off his pitiful brother.

She disappeared in a blur amongst the trees, tears of frustration hazing her vision. She almost collided with Leaf nin heading out to find her, masks frighteningly familiar. She stopped as they surrounded her, swords at the ready. She gave a blank smile.

"I'm not here to fight you or kill you, I want to return to the tower and continue my studies as a medic." She informed them as she would a child. One stepped forward, and a familiar voice greeted her cautiously.

"Haruno Sakura, Hokage-sama requests your presence immediately." Sakura bowed sharply, disappearing in a column of smoke. The ant mask sighed.

"If she's left the village, there's no stopping her." The dog mask said mournfully. The bird mask said nothing, but put away his katana. Without a word, they sped back to the village.

She reached the tower still bleeding, her dead eyes making the genin in her way retreat and whimper with fright. The jounin watched her pass with unease. She was too unstable, they thought.

She pushed through the doors to the office of her former mentor without announcing herself, making the blonde pause in her work.

"Ah, Sakura."

"Neji said you requested my presence." She replied, emerald eyes dull. Tsunade stared at her seriously.

"Yes, I did request your presence. I saw how you acted the other night with the Uchiha, and I'm taking you out of the squad. Ibiki has already been informed. You will report for a psychological assessment before accepting missions again, am I clear?" Sakura bowed sharply.

"Hai Hokage-sama. I think I'll take a small break before I come back." She gave her blank smile again. Tsunade sighed, eyeing her state of appearance.

"Training?" She asked, warm brown eyes searching for something that lingered in the rosette's face, something that had died years ago. Sakura nodded, unwilling to say more. Tsunade's mouth quirked into a small smile.

"Dismissed." Sakura paused at the door, turning back for a moment.

"Thank you." She said, giving a true smile that reached her eyes. Then she was gone. It wasn't until that famous pink hair had been sighted two weeks later in conjunction with an Akatsuki robe that she was labelled a missing nin.

_  
Why won't you die  
Your blood in mine  
We'll be fine  
Then your body will be mine  
_

She scrambled up the tree trunk, sitting at the top, her cloak wrapped warmly around her. Her emerald eyes flashed into the sharingan, then back, reminding her of what had been, and what had come to pass. She wept, then, for Sasuke, for her innocence taken away from her, for her friends, for Lee, who she had killed and tortured just yesterday. She had stolen just a little bit of Neji's blood, but it was enough to give her the byakugan.

"Stop thinking!" She screamed, clutching at her head. She didn't care who heard her now, just as long as they killed her quickly. _**You know he deserved it. He died, and you're the one who killed him. May as well kill the other one, he reminds you just the same.**_ Inner Sakura advised, a smirk on her face.

Sakura howled, tears dripping from her chin as she made up her mind. She would kill his brother. The sharingan from Sasuke made sure that whenever she activated it in the older Uchiha's presence, she would want to kill him. She knew she couldn't, now that he trained with her. However… She could steal Deidara's clan secrets, and use it as her secret weapon.

Furiously, she wiped the tears off her face, jumping down from the tree. She would kill him, or die trying.

_  
Why won't you die  
Your blood in mine  
We'll be fine  
Then your body will be mine_

It had been a while since he made her his, or she had made him hers. It alternated, depending on his moods. Most of the time, he dominated in everything from food choices, training and sleeping. He insisted on being on top, but she was always fighting back, refusing to stay on the bottom. She bit him frequently, but he always dodged out of the way before she could take his blood. She had sobbed to him about Sasuke, how she killed him, how she stole his bloodline.

"Patience." He always whispered to her after her frustrated attempts to secure even a drop of his blood.

She had stolen Deidara's bloodline the night before, and amused herself by blowing things up. Itachi stood in front of her, sharingan eyes calculating the innocently blank smile that she had put up, not yet comprehending the real reason why she wanted to fight. She wanted to get stronger, he decided. There was no risk fighting a medic. She could always heal him afterwards.

They began by shaky taijutsu, followed by ninjutsu and finally genjutsu. They were both panting and bleeding, but kept blasting chakra waves towards each other in hopes of a hit, not matter how small. She sent an exploding clay bird at him, but he already knew it was coming.

"You seduced Deidara for this… surprise?" He taunted, obviously disgusted by her actions. She snarled at him, attacking him again.

She pulled the last genjutsu she had kept secret on him; hands flew into the symbols behind her back as she faced him for one last time. His eyes widened as he stared at her in shock, obviously feeling the pain creeping into his system, twisting his internal organs, cutting off his breathing. He dropped to the ground, unable to do much else.

"Good girl." He rasped, an obviously awed look present on his face despite the pain.

She wearily stumbled over, drawing a kunai. At the same moment, they thrust a kunai into each other's throats, severing the artery. She dropped down next to him, blood gurgling in her throat. In his final moments, he drew her closer, clamping down on her possessively.

Sasori and Deidara found them hours later, bloodied and dead, clutching at each other with peace finally written on their faces.

_Owari_

_

* * *

_

Like I said, I'm not happy with the ending. Ah well. R&R, please!


End file.
